How to help a man's suffering from domestic violence?

Have you ever heard, seen, or even felt that a man could be a victim of domestic violence? It’s a difficult reality that many people—men included—face in silence. When we think of domestic violence, our minds often go straight to images of women suffering at the hands of an abusive partner. While it’s true that women are disproportionately affected, men can also be victims of domestic violence. In fact, the stigma around male victims often prevents them from seeking help, making it all the more important for us to understand how to offer support and break the cycle of abuse.

A home should be a place of safety, love, and mutual respect. It should be where all members—regardless of gender—feel secure, valued, and able to express their thoughts, emotions, and concerns without fear of judgment or harm. However, some individuals, including men, are denied that basic human right. They endure pain, fear, and isolation because of domestic violence, often struggling in silence. For these men, the home becomes a battlefield. 

What Shape Does Domestic Violence Take?

Domestic violence can manifest in many forms, all of which are equally harmful, and none of which should ever be tolerated. It isn’t always physical, though physical abuse is often the most visible form. Domestic violence may take the following shapes:

- Physical Abuse: Hitting, slapping, pushing, or other forms of physical harm.

- Verbal Abuse: Insults, humiliation, belittling, and other forms of emotional degradation.

- Sexual Abuse: Forced sexual acts, coercion, or emotional manipulation in a sexual context.

- Economic Abuse: Controlling finances, limiting access to money, or preventing the victim from working.

- Cultural and Emotional Violence:** Threats to the victim’s identity, culture, or emotional well-being.

- Neglect: Ignoring the victim's needs or dismissing their feelings as unimportant.

In some cases, the abuse may be subtle or hidden, making it even harder for the victim to recognize what’s happening. Many men, in particular, feel immense shame and confusion about their experience, which leads them to deny or downplay the abuse.

This recording makes me weep for Johnny Depp. "Tell the world, Johnny, tell them, Johnny Depp, I, a man, I'm a victim too of domestic violence. And see how many people believe or side with you".

Mistreatments and abuses are not acceptable and tolerable at all! Johnny Depp said he's a victim of domestic violence!

 

Why Do Men Suffer in Silence?

Despite the fact that some men are undoubtedly suffering from domestic violence, many hesitate to speak up. They may be embarrassed or fear that others will question their masculinity. Cultural myths, like "men don't cry" or "men are strong enough to handle it," often prevent them from seeking help. These outdated beliefs can create a toxic atmosphere where vulnerability is seen as weakness, and asking for help is equated with being "less of a man." But the truth is that no one—man or woman—deserves to live in fear or tolerate abuse. It’s not a sign of weakness to ask for professional help; it’s a sign of strength and self-respect. Everyone deserves a safe, supportive home environment.

What Should You Do If You’re a Man

 Suffering from Domestic Violence?

If you're experiencing domestic violence, the most important thing is to acknowledge that what you're going through is abuse. Denial may feel safer in the short term, but it only prolongs the suffering. Here’s how you can start to seek help and begin healing:

1. Don't Stay Silent: Talk to someone you trust. Whether it’s a close friend, family member, or therapist, opening up can provide emotional support and may help you see the situation more clearly.

   

2. Seek Professional Help: Many countries have helplines and support services specifically for men facing domestic violence. A licensed therapist, counsellor, or support group can help you navigate the complex emotions that come with abuse. They can also help you develop strategies for safety and healing.

3. Be aware of the Signs: Understand that emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical violence. Insults, manipulation, control, and humiliation can cause long-term psychological harm. Knowing these patterns can help you take the necessary steps to protect yourself.

4. Take Care of Your Mental Health: Domestic violence affects not only your body but also your mental well-being. Therapy can help you rebuild your self-esteem and address any trauma or emotional scars left by the abuse.

5. Know Your Rights: Laws protecting victims of domestic violence vary by country, but in many places, men are entitled to the same protections as women. Learn about the legal resources available to you, such as restraining orders or legal aid.

Why Do Some Men Choose Abusive Partners?

 If you like to marry and before that: 

If you’re in a relationship and wondering why you’ve ended up with an abusive partner, it’s important to reflect on your own emotional needs, patterns, and expectations. Relationships often mirror what you’ve experienced in childhood or past relationships. If you’ve been in an abusive relationship before, or if you grew up in an environment where emotional abuse was normalized, you may unknowingly gravitate toward a similar dynamic.      

Here are some ways to ensure a healthy relationship:

Don’t Rush Into Marriage: Take the time to get to know your partner deeply. Have open, honest conversations about backgrounds, interests, and family dynamics. Don’t overlook red flags.

Seek Professional Guidance: A licensed family therapist can help you navigate relationship dynamics and ensure you’re building a partnership based on mutual respect and understanding.

Address Mental Health Issues: If your partner has unresolved mental health issues, it’s important to remember that you cannot "fix" them. Mental health concerns like anxiety or depression often require the help of a trained therapist. You are not responsible for repairing someone else’s emotional wounds.

If you're married 

If You’re Already Married and in an Abusive Relationship

If you're already married and you’re being emotionally or physically abused, the first step is to admit to yourself what’s happening. Acknowledging the abuse is crucial for your emotional and mental health. You’re not weak for admitting that you’re struggling; you’re strong for recognising your situation and seeking help.

You may also need to ask yourself why you’ve tolerated the abuse. Are there deep-seated feelings of guilt, obligation, or fear? These emotions can be powerful and may require therapy to work through. But remember, no one should be subject to abuse, and you do not have to endure it.

Some Men Are Victims Too 

One of the most poignant reminders of the difficulty male victims face is the case of Johnny Depp, who bravely spoke out about his own experience with domestic violence. He famously said, “Tell the world, Johnny, tell them, Johnny Depp, I, a man, am a victim too of domestic violence. And see how many people believe or side with you.”

His words reflect the harsh reality that society often minimizes or dismisses male victims of domestic violence. Depp's story is a reminder that abuse, in any form, is never acceptable. Mistreatment is not tolerable, and no one should suffer in silence—no matter their gender.

Final Thoughts: Breaking The Silence And Ending The Stigma

Domestic violence is an issue that affects everyone—regardless of gender. If you're a man suffering from abuse, know that you’re not alone, and there’s help available. Don’t let societal expectations or outdated beliefs prevent you from seeking the support you deserve. Talk to a professional, reach out to a support group, and never feel ashamed of asking for help.

Together, we can break the silence and end the stigma surrounding domestic violence, creating a world where all victims—men and women alike—can find safety, healing, and peace.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, please reach out to a professional or contact a local helpline. You deserve to live a life free from fear and abuse.

Everyday With Psychology is here to help you. Send me an email right away to begin your journey of self-discovery.

Individual, Couple and Family Therapist, and supervisor.

Online & Face -to -Face Therapy

counselling.calm@gmail.com

My profile on the PsychologyToday website. 

A supervisor and Fellow registered member of  The ACCPH (Accredited Counsellors, Coaches, Psychotherapists and Hypnotherapists) here

Member ID #2822
Level: Fellow Accredited Member

Best of luck, Cheers,

How to Consider Men's Mental Health Problems?

Do you think men’s mental health issues matter? For a long time, the answer seemed to be "no" for many, especially in societies where cultural norms dictate that men should be strong, stoic, and self-reliant. However, over time, we’ve come to realise that mental health problems do not discriminate based on gender. Men, like anyone else, face challenges that can impact their emotional and psychological well-being. If you’re a man reading this, or if you care about a man’s mental health, this article may help shed light on important aspects of men's mental health issues and offer some steps toward better understanding and healing.

As someone who works in improving youth mental health, I've seen firsthand how much a safe, calm environment impacts one’s mental well-being. It’s especially true for parents; when parents struggle with their own mental health, it inevitably affects their children. Mental health problems do not resolve on their own, and ignoring them can worsen the situation.

Today, I’d like to focus on men’s mental health. If you are a man, or if you care about the mental health of the men in your life, this article will provide important insights into how men’s mental health issues can manifest, why they are often overlooked, and what can be done to improve the situation.

What Are Signs of Men's Mental Health Issues?

 Understanding the signs of mental health problems is critical, especially because they often manifest differently in men. Research has shown that many physical ailments, such as heart disease and high blood pressure, are often rooted in mental health issues. That’s why it’s crucial to recognize the emotional and psychological warning signs early on.

Common indicators of mental health problems in men include:

- Lack of Enjoyment: Losing interest or pleasure in activities you once enjoyed, including your work.

- Low Moods or Depression: Feeling consistently down or hopeless for an extended period of the time.

- Anxiety: Experiencing persistent feelings of unease, worry, or fear.

- Extreme Fatigue: Feeling physically drained or tired all the time, even after rest.

- Sleep Problems: Trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, or sleeping too much.

- Feelings of Worthlessness or Guilt: Intense feelings of being "not good enough" or irrational guilt.

- Changes in Appetite: Either overeating or losing interest in food.

- Helplessness or Hopelessness: A general sense of not being able to control your situation or the future.

  

While these signs can affect anyone, men often experience mental health issues in silence. The pressure to “man up” and avoid showing vulnerability can make it harder for them to admit they’re struggling.

Which Problems Could Lead You to Mental Issues?  

Mental health problems can arise from various life circumstances. The most common triggers for men include relationship problems and issues related to employment or socioeconomic status.

1. Relationship Problems

A breakup, divorce, or the breakdown of an important relationship can have a profound impact on a man’s mental health. When relationships end, feelings of loneliness, isolation, and rejection can intensify. Men may also experience a loss of identity, especially if the relationship was long-term or defined much of their social support system.

The emotional impact of a collapsed relationship can manifest as:

Low Mood and Depression: Feelings of sadness and hopelessness can dominate daily life.

Increased Risk of Suicide: Men who experience relationship breakdowns are more likely to engage in suicidal behavior due to the emotional isolation that follows.

Social Withdrawal: Difficulty reaching out to friends or family for support, leading to further isolation.

When a man feels like he has no one to talk to or no one who understands, his emotional burden can become overwhelming. Encouraging open communication and fostering a strong support network can be crucial in these situations.

2. Employment Status

Men often tie their identity and self-worth to their careers. Unemployment or low job status can cause significant emotional strain, as men may feel they are failing to live up to societal expectations of being the "provider." Financial stress, combined with feelings of inadequacy, can contribute to mental health struggles.

The detrimental effects of unemployment can include:

Feelings of Shame or Embarrassment: The societal stigma that men must be economically successful can make joblessness feel like a personal failure.

Depression and Anxiety: Unemployment can lead to a sense of hopelessness, as men struggle with the uncertainty of their future.

Substance Misuse: As a way of coping with stress, some men turn to alcohol or drugs, which can compound the problem and lead to additional mental and physical health issues.

Men who experience these challenges often avoid talking about their struggles, fearing judgment. Encouraging a shift in these beliefs—where a man’s worth is not solely defined by his career—can help alleviate some of the pressure.

Solutions: Breaking the Silence and Seeking Help

If you are a man struggling with mental health issues, or if you know someone who is, it’s important to take action. Here are a few steps that can help improve mental health:

Acknowledge Your Feelings: The first step to overcoming mental health issues is recognizing that you have them. It’s okay to feel vulnerable and it’s okay to need help.

Seek Professional Support: Don’t hesitate to talk to a therapist or counselor. Seeking professional help is not a sign of weakness; it’s an important step toward healing.

Reach Out to Support Networks: It can be difficult, but talking to friends, family, or even a support group can help. Isolation makes mental health problems worse, and a strong support network can provide valuable perspective and understanding.

Challenge the Myths Around Masculinity: Understanding that it’s okay to express emotions and seek help is essential. Society’s perception of men as emotionally invulnerable needs to be reshaped. By talking openly about mental health, men can help reduce the stigma and encourage others to seek support.

Conclusion: Changing the Narrative Around Men’s Mental Health

Exploring the factors that contribute to mental health issues in men is essential for reducing the stigma surrounding mental health struggles. In this article, I’ve highlighted the impact of collapsing relationships and employment status as common causes for men’s mental health issues. We also explored how cultural myths around masculinity often prevent men from seeking help, which leads to greater suffering.

As a society, we must work together to create supportive environments in homes, workplaces, and communities, where men feel safe to express their feelings without fear of judgment. Changing the narrative around men’s mental health can save lives and improve overall well-being.
If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health issues, remember that help is available. Seeking support is not a sign of weakness—it’s a courageous step toward healing.

 

Individual, Couple and Family Therapist, and supervisor.

Online & Face -to -Face Therapy

counselling.calm@gmail.com

A supervisor and Fellow registered member of  The ACCPH (Accredited Counsellors, Coaches, Psychotherapists and Hypnotherapists) here

Member ID #2822
Level: Fellow Accredited Member